Tuesday, June 20, 2006
New URL
It's now http://ambientnoise.spaces.msn.com rather than http://spaces.msn.com/ambientnoise
so yeah there might be one more time that they change it again. Hopefully they will get their system down
so that they won't change it anymore, it's getting really irritating...
Monday, June 19, 2006
Got this from my Boss at work
Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to
fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for
those of us who fly routinely in our jobs and those of you who fly
occasionally.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked
with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance
engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had
an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Friday, June 09, 2006
Another funny!
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an Englishman,
using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friends, is Globalization!
Sent in an Email to me by CaptRon :-)
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Here is a good laugh
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly told his mother, "Mum, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.
"A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mummy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The Flight to Egypt," was his reply. Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, I don't have to. My Mum is a good cook."
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop from view. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he??
Friday, June 02, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
He He He
| S | Shiny |
| N | Nutty |
| O | Outrageous |
| B | Bright |
| A | Astounding |
| Y | Yucky |
| B | Bashful |
| E | Elitist |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
| Snobaybe may explode without warning |
| M EXPLOSIVE |
From Go-Quiz.com
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
meaning of my name
| C | Charismatic |
| I | Influential |
| N | Normal |
| D | Delightful |
| I | Ideal |
| L | Light |
| O | Overwhelming |
| U | Useful |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
I am this character.. ... I don't agree though... she is awesome I am not!!
Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?
You're Elizabeth Bennett of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen!
Take this quiz!
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Snobaybe is...
Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?
You're Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibilty by Jane Austen!
Take this quiz!
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Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Noelie Is..
Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?
You're Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibilty by Jane Austen!
Take this quiz!
Quizilla |
Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?
You're Elizabeth Bennett of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen!
Take this quiz!
Quizilla |
Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Go Vote For My Blend
| UCAUTION |
| IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP TIGERSUE AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES. |
From Go-Quiz.com
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.
Chemisty Exam
At Duke University, there were four sophomores
taking chemistry and all of
them had an "A" so far. These four friends were so
confident,that the
weekend before finals, they decided to visit some> friends.
They had a great time, but after all the fun, they
slept all day Sunday and
didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday
morning. Rather than taking
the final then, they decided that after the final
they would explain to> >their professor why they missed it.
They said that they visited friends but on the
way back they had a flat
tire. As a result, they missed the final. The
professor agreed they could
make up the final the next day. The guys were
excited and relieved. They
studied that night for the exam.
The Professor placed them in separate rooms and
gave them each a test
booklet.
Each quickly answered the first problem worth 5
points. Cool, they thought!
Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was
going to be Easy.... then
they turned the page. On the second page was
written....
For 95 points: Which tire? _____
Wild Fires
Things are not always what they seem.
A photographer from a well-known national magazine was assigned to
cover Southern California's wildfires. The magazine wanted pictures
of the heroic work the fire fighters were doing as they battled the
blazes.
When the photographer arrived on the scene he realized that the
smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede, or even make
impossible, his obtaining good photographs from ground-level.
He requested permission from his boss to rent a plane and take
photos from the air. His request was approved, and via a cell phone
call to the local county airport, necessary arrangements were made.
He was told a single-engine plane would be waiting for him at the
airport.
He arrived at the airfield and spotted a plane warming up outside a
hangar. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and
shouted, "Let's go!"
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind, and roared down
the runway. Within just a minute or two of his arrival they were in
the air.
The photographer requested the pilot to, "Fly over the valley and
make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures of the
fires on the hillsides."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm a photographer for a national magazine," he responded,
"and I need to get some close-up shots."
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment; finally he stammered,
"So, you're telling me you're not the flight instructor?"