Another funny!

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess

with an Egyptian boyfriend

crashes in a French tunnel,

driving a German car

with a Dutch engine,

driven by a Belgian who was drunk

on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling)

followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,

on Japanese motorcycles;

treated by an American doctor,

using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an Englishman,

using Bill Gates's technology,

and you're probably reading this on your computer,

that use Taiwanese chips,

and a Korean monitor,

assembled by Bangladeshi workers

in a Singapore plant,

transported by Indian lorry-drivers,

hijacked by Indonesians,

unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,

and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....

That, my friends, is Globalization!

Sent in an Email to me by CaptRon :-)

Here is a good laugh

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly told his mother, "Mum, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.

"A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mummy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The Flight to Egypt," was his reply. Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, I don't have to. My Mum is a good cook."

A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop from view. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he??

Happy Birthday Tigersue!!!

He He He

S	Shiny
N	Nutty
O	Outrageous
B	Bright
A	Astounding
Y	Yucky
B	Bashful
E	Elitist

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Snobaybe may explode without warning

M EXPLOSIVE

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meaning of my name

C	Charismatic
I	Influential
N	Normal
D	Delightful
I	Ideal
L	Light
O	Overwhelming
U	Useful

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Boy is this not the truth!!!

THIS WAY UP á

Cindilou has fragile contents which may break!

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I am this character.. ... I don't agree though... she is awesome I am not!!

Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?

You're Elizabeth Bennett of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen!
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Snobaybe is...

Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?

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Noelie Is..

Which Classic Female Literary Character Are you?

You're Marianne Dashwood from Sense and Sensibilty by Jane Austen!
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Go Vote For My Blend

Go *Here* To Vote For My Blend Entry I'm Tink

*I'm not really a Paris Hilton fan, but I needed the photo editing experience so there you go... I could use any votes I can get :)

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP TIGERSUE AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

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If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility....

Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."

Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!"

Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."

Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."

Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."

The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.

Chemisty Exam

A lesson to be learned!
At Duke University, there were four sophomores
taking chemistry and all of
them had an "A" so far. These four friends were so
confident,that the
weekend before finals, they decided to visit some> friends.
They had a great time, but after all the fun, they
slept all day Sunday and
didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday
morning. Rather than taking
the final then, they decided that after the final
they would explain to> >their professor why they missed it.
They said that they visited friends but on the
way back they had a flat
tire. As a result, they missed the final. The
professor agreed they could
make up the final the next day. The guys were
excited and relieved. They
studied that night for the exam.
The Professor placed them in separate rooms and
gave them each a test
booklet.
Each quickly answered the first problem worth 5
points. Cool, they thought!
Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was
going to be Easy.... then
they turned the page. On the second page was
written....
For 95 points: Which tire? _____

Wild Fires

WILD FIRES
Things are not always what they seem.
A photographer from a well-known national magazine was assigned to
cover Southern California's wildfires. The magazine wanted pictures
of the heroic work the fire fighters were doing as they battled the
blazes.
When the photographer arrived on the scene he realized that the
smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede, or even make
impossible, his obtaining good photographs from ground-level.
He requested permission from his boss to rent a plane and take
photos from the air. His request was approved, and via a cell phone
call to the local county airport, necessary arrangements were made.
He was told a single-engine plane would be waiting for him at the
airport.
He arrived at the airfield and spotted a plane warming up outside a
hangar. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and
shouted, "Let's go!"
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind, and roared down
the runway. Within just a minute or two of his arrival they were in
the air.
The photographer requested the pilot to, "Fly over the valley and
make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures of the
fires on the hillsides."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm a photographer for a national magazine," he responded,
"and I need to get some close-up shots."
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment; finally he stammered,
"So, you're telling me you're not the flight instructor?"

To all the kids

Those Born 1930-1979!
TO ALL THE KIDSWHO SURVIVED the1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank whiletheywere pregnant.(not me, mother mother didn't drink that is ;) )
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't gettested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in babycribscovered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets

and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitch hiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, boosterseats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made withsugar,
but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride downthe hill,
only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running intothebushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's,
no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers,
no Internet or chatrooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS
and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
and there were nolawsuits from these accidents

.We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,
although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell,
or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those whodidn'thad to learn to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers,
problemsolvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learnedHOW TODEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids,
before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of ourlivesfor our own good

.And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Adult ADD

This is how Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder manifests itself :
I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice that there is mail on theporch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table
and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
soI go inside the house to my desk
where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm,
and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter,
and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm goingto water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water
and suddenly I spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I will be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'llwater the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on thecounter

the flowers don't have enough water

there is still only one check in my check book

I can't find the remote

I can't find my glasses

I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

and I'lltry to get some help for it,

but first I'll check my e-mail.

Chatterbox

Hello Sisters I have added a chatterbox at the bottom of the page above the links. I will also add a guestbook. Any suggestions for questions I would appreciate it.

The books we knew we would read.

I was telling Ish and Brooke( a new co-worker.. actually the one I got the job of instead, but the company I work for is cool enough and growing enough that she is training to open her center somewhere else!) about 7th grade and reading the readers digest version of Jean ValJean meeting the Bishop at the beginning of the story (well what could be considered the beginning. the set up for the story is huge and with good reason!)

I didn't care if we only got a half an idea of the story, I didn't care that it belongs to a novel so thick you could kill someone with it, I KNEW I was going to read that book some day. Period. There was no way I could read just a tiny bit about the Bishop and what a good man he was and NOT read the outcome of his actions.

Tanya mentinoed being very excited for her newest Lynn Kurland novel. Since I found Lynn's books at a grocery store near me( I thought I had sworn off of romance!) she has been a new addiction for at least Tanya and myself.

I know that Cindy LOVE reading Danielle Steele or she used to.

What other books did you just KNOW you were going to read no matter what?

here are some I have in the last year
1. The DaVinci Code
2. Memoirs of a Geisha
3. Revenge of the Sith
4. One more try at "Lord of the Rings
5 All the Harry Pooter books ONE more time, but I knew I would read that last one as soon as I could lay my hands on it.
6 The Chronicles of Narnia for about the 100th time